If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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