Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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