Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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