I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
