beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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