I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ttyl tear gas
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
