Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
