I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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