i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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