i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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