I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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