Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
