I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
