***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
