But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we made out on top of his cat.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
