Small penises have feelings too.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize