There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize