What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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