Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize