i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What a dumb baby whore.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
