we're blogging at a bar
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize