Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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