I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
