If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
