I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
