so explain again why im purple
no
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
