I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
