I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
