I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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