I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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