so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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