the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
