Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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