Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
