Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
