Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize