I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
