i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
