He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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