I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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