What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
