I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
