we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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