The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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