Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
