Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
