Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
