Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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