Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
