I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
