I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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