you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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