Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
