i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
now i know why i became what i already was.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
