Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
