Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
