One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
