Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
