you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do vagina's smell?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
