he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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