She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize