bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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