i just had sex bonerless
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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