in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
