apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
