i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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