what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
