When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
