cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
