i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
