sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
