If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize