Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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